Letter to My Baby boy!

In Jacksons baby book there is a spot for a letter from Mommy…. with the billion things I have felt and wanted to say over the last year, I just never got around to writing one. So, I decided to write it now….a year after he was born! Goodness, still can't believe it has been a year! I hope one day he reads this and knows how very, very much he is loved.

My Dear Jackson,

            Hello baby, this is your mommy writing you! I have been meaning to write this letter since the day you were born, and now you are over a year old! I have had 12 months to watch you grow and to fall even more in love with you than I knew possible.

Jackson, when I was a little girl all I ever wanted was a baby doll, and to play house and be the mommy. When I grew up, all I ever wanted to do was babysit and dream about the day I would someday have my own. When I met your daddy, I knew that he felt the same way, and that someday, we would make both of dreams come true.

Sweet boy, you were all I ever wanted my whole life! When we found out you were on your way, I was nervous, but I instantly felt a love for you that I couldn’t explain. Throughout the next nine months I enjoyed every second of being your home, I loved watching you grow and feeling you wiggle around and I anxiously awaited the day you would join us on the outside.  The moment you were born I felt every little piece of my heart fill up and overflow. That night I stayed awake all night and held you on my chest and watched you breathe in and out and stared at your sweet face. There was nothing in this world I wanted more than to be right there in that moment. You were perfect, everything I had ever hoped for, dreamed of, and wished and prayed for, right there in my arms.  You had to stay in the hospital for an extra night and I couldn’t sleep right next to you. I remember feeling so lost and thinking that I would give anything just to hold you in my arms and you were only a few miles away.

We brought you home and that night I laid you in your bassinet next to my bed….for about 5 minutes. I couldn’t sleep worrying if you were too hot, too cold, if you were lonely, or if you just wanted mommy. So, I laid you next to me and there you stayed for about 9 more months, my little snuggle bunny! You were the cutest little newborn I had ever seen. You had great big hands, big feet, your mommy’s eyebrows, and a full head of dark hair! I had never seen anything more handsome in my entire life! Every day that passed, I swore you got cuter! I would wake up and tell Daddy, “Look, he did it again! He got cuter!!!” How could you be so cute?!  I saw your sweet smile for the first time about a month after you were born and my heart absolutely melted!

I have enjoyed watching you grow so much my boy. I remember being SO excited the first time I noticed you were looking at something and watching it, following with your eyes! When you rolled over the first time I think I cried from excitement! When you started crawling, your Grandma Suzi and Auntie Kelsey were here to witness along with Mommy and Daddy. We were all cheering you on and couldn’t stop smiling! Your first steps, my goodness, what excitement that was! We had the biggest grins and clapped our hands for you, we were so proud!

Sweet Jackson, you are such an amazing boy. Everything you do, you do with such character and such enthusiasm. You are always focused on what you are doing and busy with something that interests you. You never sit still, and you are always on the go looking for something else to do or to get into, or something else to make us laugh! We knew from your first couple months of life that you were a comedian. You love to make us laugh and to laugh yourself! You laugh at everything and every time you do, my heart warms up! You have the sweetest, greatest laugh I have ever heard! Your laugh could probably bring peace to warring nations! You also have the best smile that never goes away! You smile even when you are crying. You smile when you are happy, when you are tired, when you are grumpy, and even when you are sick, you smile through coughs! Everyone who sees you comments on how smiley you are and what a happy baby you are. You are such a flirt, you love to smile at every person you see and I know that it brightens their day, just like you brighten mine every single day!

You are so young, yet such a little person already. You love to run and climb everything. You love “petting” the dog and playing fetch with her and you love to be outside in the grass barefoot. You don’t like wearing shoes, and you really don’t like wearing much of anything! You wake up happy every morning and instantly you want to go explore and find something fun to do.  You love to read books, sometimes I find you in your room with twenty books pulled off of the shelves and you are just sitting on the floor going through the pages. You like to play peekaboo and chase me around the house while I pretend I am running from you, it cracks you up… If I even look at you from around a corner or through a hole or a window, you start laughing. You are very well-behaved. You like going places and you never throw a fit or cry. I can take you anywhere. You are the messiest eater I have ever seen. You don’t eat anything without some of it ending up in your ears, in your hair, in your eyebrows, and all over your lap! Oh and all over me!

Jackson, you have made my life so enjoyable, and so fulfilling. You are everything I have ever wanted and more. There just aren’t words to describe how much I love you and what you mean to me. I pray that you would know how special you are, and just how much you are loved. I pray that you know that no matter what happens in this world sweet boy, I will always love you and I will always be proud of you and who you are. You are such a vibrant, kind, and funny little man and I pray that you keep that forever. Above all else Jackson, I pray that you will grow into the man that the Lord has planned for you, and that you would become a mighty servant of him and that you would always take comfort in Him.

The love of a parent is amazing, incredible, and indescribable. Thank you for blessing my life so richly my little man, I can’t wait to continue watching you grow and to share in all of your adventures!! Happy first birthday big boy!!!

Mommy

July 31, 2011